The Malaysian Insight

DO not abort, just seek help, is the advice of teens who are now recovering from the guilt of terminating their pregnancies.

One of them is Hani, now 20, who had an abortion in her teens, an event that traumatises her until today.

Sexually active while in college, she said her partner refused to share the responsibility of a child after finding out that she was pregnant.

When she got pregnant again last year, she went to the Raudhatus Sakinah Guidance Centre for Female Adolescents in Selangor, a home for troubled young women.

Hani, who declined to give her full name, is now one of 30 girls at the shelter operational for two decades.

“This is my second chance. I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to look after my child. Maybe, I can redeem myself,” she said, having given birth at the end of last year.

For the past 20 years, Raudhatus Sakinah, founded by Muslim civil society groups, has offered shelter and education to girls who fall pregnant outside marriage.

The girls are brought to the shelter either by their families or through the Welfare Department.

Hani urged others in this predicament to face the situation and get help, instead of dumping the baby or undergoing an abortion.

“We all have dark moments in life but there is a way out.

“It will be hard at the beginning but it is better to take the right path.

“Getting help from a shelter can help you get up mentally and spiritually. It will help you find God.

“As long as you can find God, you can find your way home,” said Hani from Selangor.

Cases of baby dumping continue to hit the headlines in Malaysia, where Muslims, as the majority population, mostly frown on unwed pregnancies.

Between 2012 and 2016, Malaysia recorded an average of 4,000 teenage pregnancies a year, Deputy Women, Family and Community Development Minister Hannah Yeoh said.

There were also 911 cases of baby dumping from 2010 to August last year, she said, with Selangor at the highest number at 215.

Surveys by the ministry’s family planning unit had also found low awareness of sexuality and reproductive health among Malaysian teens, Yeoh said.

Yeoh has frequently urged pregnant teens to reach out for help instead of dumping their babies, whether through the ministry’s Talian Kasih helpline at 15999 or by utilising baby hatches managed by OrphanCare and at KPJ hospitals.

At Raudhatus Sakinah, which has three branches, one each in Selangor, Malacca and Penang, the girls learn sewing, handicrafts, cooking and sports.

Each shelter can accommodate up to 30 girls, who are cared for by three wardens.

Each girl pays RM300 a month, the equivalent of 15% of a shelter’s total monthly cost of RM60,000. The rest is sponsored by donations and from zakat (tithes) collected by the religious authorities.

Those unable to pay the monthly fee are covered by the donations.

Nadira, another girl at the RS shelter in Selangor, where they are called “trainees”, gave birth just three weeks ago.

She agreed with Hani that it’s better to take responsibility for the child than to abandon it, even if this was difficult at first.

“It leaves us with trauma. I can’t imagine how guilty I would feel if in the future. I have a child from marriage but the guilt of dumping my first baby will still stay with me.

“I panicked when I got pregnant out of wedlock, but getting rid of the child was not the solution. There is always a way where we can find the right path again,” Nadira said.

Another trainee, who had an abortion previously, said it was better to be honest with family, even if it meant incurring the wrath of relatives.

“The risk of an abortion is high to us and the baby. I feel guilty and sad for the baby. It is not the baby’s fault,” said the girl who gave her name as Siti.

“There will always be people who will help. At first, there is fear, but be honest about it anyway,” added Nadira.

According to Raudhatur Sakihan director Muha Anun Mohd Noor each girl stays for as long as 15 months at the shelter.

“When we take them in, their lives are a mess. They want to run away or commit suicide, they feel no one loves them.

“When they enter, they get to know others who have gone through the same experience as them, and they find they don’t have to be alone,” said Muha, who has run the shelter for the past 10 years. – September 11, 2019.