The Malaysian Insight

AS more Malaysians feel the need to work longer hours and even take on multiple jobs because of the rising cost of living, an increasing number of children grow up without guidance and discipline, leading to behavioural problems, including the rise in bullying cases.

Psychology expert Dr Mariani Mohamad Nor said the effects of absent parenting included a higher chance of a child being influenced by delinquents and being involved in negative activities.

“This is happening because of the demands of this modern age, where both parents need to work. When the cost of living increases, the children’s needs have to be taken care of.

“In the past, a mother may have been a homemaker, but now she has to work. It does contribute to change, and the reality of the situation today is causing parents to have to work from 7am to 7pm.

“So when the family is no longer together physically, the children will feel like they are being neglected,” said the dean of Universiti Malaya’s Faculty of Education.

Experts said it is this lack of parental guidance and the absence of a strong family unit that is giving rise to cases of bullying.

Two incidents of bullying resulting in fatality hogged the headlines recently. Parents are now urging the government to adopt a teaching module in all schools to address the problem.

On June 11, five cadets at Universiti Pertahanan Negara Malaysia (UPNM) were charged with murder while another was charged with being an accomplice in the death of fellow student Zulfarhan Osman on June 11. They face the mandatory death sentence if found guilty.

A week later, four youths were charged with the murder of T. Nhaveen, 18, at a magistrate’s court in George Town, Penang.

Parents to counter a big, bad world

Mariani said some bullies feel pressured to join in group attacks on others as they lack self-confidence and crave acceptance from their peers.

Apart from physical bullying, the high rate of cyber-bullying cases is also worrying.

Sociologist Dr Kartini Aboo Thalib @ Khalid said that the role of parents in guiding their young is even more crucial in this age of technology.

“Quality time with children is one of the factors commonly referred to as a platform to prevent bullying, but even so, the modern world and IT advancement makes it hard to control negative influence,” said the deputy director of the Institute of Ethnic Studies at Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM).

“Development and modernisation should not be blamed, but it’s how humans manage living with others,” she said.

Pressures of modern society

Prof Dr Rahimah Abdul Aziz, a sociologist expert from UKM, said many bullies come from dysfunctional homes and lack attention and love.

“They may have seen their parents behave violently towards each other, or towards another member of the family. They see this type of behaviour as normal,” she said.

She said one way to keep the family unit strong was to reduce financial pressure on the people.

“Of course, the cost of living will increase as the quality of life improves. This cannot be avoided.

“However, the rate of inflation and rise in cost of living need to be controlled better so that it does not burden the people, especially those from the middle- and low-income brackets,” said Rahimah.

Education activist Noor Azimah Abdul Rahim, who heads the Parent Action Group for Education (PAGE), said while many parties played an important role in bringing up a child, the main parties responsible for guiding and educating the youth are parents.

“I think that parents cannot just wash their hands off. We need to be alert and mindful, and not leave our children to be taught by the teachers alone.

“There needs to be cooperation with the teachers, and constant interaction. Many parents just send their kids to school and leave it to the school to raise them.” – July 3, 2017.