The Malaysian Insight

IT was not easy for Aleeya Azman (not her real name) to come to a decision to divorce her husband of only four years at the age of 26 last year.

But she felt that divorce was the best way out of the abusive relationship, and one where her ex-husband was freely having extramarital affairs.

“My (ex-husband) was sex-crazy… often watching porn, had illicit chats with women. The worse was when he tried to disturb my sister.

“He usually finds the women through social media apps, such as WeChat, Beetalk and on Facebook,” she told The Malaysian Insight.

Aleeya has two sons, aged three and five, under her care.

According to recent statistics from the Syariah Judiciary Department of Malaysia, a total of 171,252 divorce cases were recorded from 2014 till July 2016.

From that number, 59,712 divorce cases were recorded in 2014, while 2015 saw a rise in cases to 63,463. From January to July 10, 2016, a total of 48,077 cases were recorded.

Selangor, Sabah and Johor had the highest number of divorce cases in the first six months of 2016.

Deputy Women, Family and Community Development Azizah Mohd Dun told Parliament last year that Selangor recorded the highest number of divorces in the last three years with 30,901 cases.

She said a study found that most first-time marriages which ended in divorce within five years were because of irreconcilable differences, cheating spouses, the meddling of in-laws and irresponsible husbands.

According to Muslim women’s rights group Sisters in Islam (SIS), physical abuse and failure of a husband to provide the bare necessities for the family were much higher than what official records show.

According to SIS statistics, the highest number of women-related cases referred to the organisation in 2016 was abuse at 22%, followed by the failure to provide for the family (17%) and husbands having affairs (16%).

Legal officer Andi Suraidah said domestic violence not only happened to those who are unemployed but also those who are working.

“We also have a client (a victim of abuse) who is a professor,” said Andi.

She said some women from the lower-income group are willing to tolerate the abuse for the sake of their children.

“They tend to stay until their children are older because they depend on their husbands financially. If they divorce, they will have to consider a lot of things and they also have commitments.”

Shariah lawyer Akberdin Abdul Kader said the increase in the number of divorces among Muslim couples in the country mostly involved marriages under 10 years.

He said among the factors often cited as the cause of divorce are the meddling of in-laws, polygamy, cheating, financial problems and social media.

“It is true that the number of divorce is increasing. Today’s living standards in the city, coupled with social media, also add to the pressure.

“We also have to distinguish between those who are well educated and less educated. For those who are well educated, financially, they are very stable. So, it is easy for them to have an affair because their finances are so stable that can they have all kinds of relationships.

“While those who have a low level of education, their thinking is not mature so they do not know to manage marital problems,” he said.

Akberdin said a lack of tolerance among couples and seeking the views of third parties without consulting a marriage counsellor also contributed to the high divorce rates.

“They can actually go for counselling, but they take this matter lightly and look at divorce as a solution.”

Aleeya denied that her decision to leave her husband was a flippant one. She said she tried to go for counselling with an ustaz, but her ex-husband showed positive changes for a week.

“I tried to give him a chance but it only lasted a week and then he went back to his usual temperament. He also beat me when we argued.

“My husband is temperamental and often gets angry over small issues. I tried to be patient, but I could no longer tolerate his bad attitude.” – July 19, 2017.